Lacey Couple & Family Therapy Services, PLLC

Betsy L. Hicks, MA, LMFT

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)

The cultural phenomenon that has helped heal millions of readers, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life.

Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another—has guided millions of readers toward the understanding that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins.

Is someone else’s problem your problem? If, like so many others, you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.

This revised edition includes an all-new chapter on trauma and anxiety—subjects Beattie has long felt necessary to address within the context of codependency—making it even more relevant today than it was when it first entered the national conversation over thirty-five years ago.

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Favorite Quotes

  • "A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."
    Mahtma Gandhi
  • "Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
    Watch your words, for they become actions.
    Watch your actions, for they become habits.
    Watch your habits, for they become character.
    Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
    Unknown
  • "Celebrate what you want to see more of."
    Tom Peters
  • "Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege.
    Use it. Dwell in the possibility."
    Oprah Winfrey
  • "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."
    Napoleon Hill
  • The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
    Gilbert Chesterton
  • "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…
    It's about learning to dance in the rain."
    Vivian Greene
  • "You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are."
    Yogi Bhanjan
  • "Becoming acquainted with yourself is a price well worth paying for the love that will really address your needs."
    Daphne Rose Kingma
  • "My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.
    Shakti Gawain
  • "The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself."
    Steve Maraboli
  • "To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections."
    Sandra Bierig
  • "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
    Buddah
  • "It is never too late to be what you might have been."
    George Eliot
  • "Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness."
    Jean Vanier
  • "In order for tomorrow to change, you must do something today. "
    Phillip Gee
  • "Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings."
    Miles Franklin
  • "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."
    Socrates
  • "If you persistently seek validation from others, you will inadvertently invalidate your own self-worth."
    Dondinsky
  • "If you don't build your dream someone else will hire you to build theirs."
    Unknown
  • "It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."
    Unknown
  • "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • "If you are not willing to learn, no once can help you. If you are determined to learn, no once can stop you."
    wisdomlifequotes.com
  • "Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."
    The Center for Mindful Living
  • "The day I stopped trying to be perfect was the day I found peace. I am enough. You are enough. We all are."
    Anna Grace Taylor
  • “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
    Brené Brown
  • “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
    Brené Brown
  • “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”
    Brené Brown
  • “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.”
    Brené Brown
  • “And suddenly you know… it’s time to start something new, and trust the magic of new beginnings.”
    Meister Eckhart
  • "It always seems impossible until it's done."
    Nelson Mandela
  • "Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."
    Og Mandino
  • "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
    Charles R. Swindoll
  • "Don't place your mistakes on your head, their weight may crush you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view your horizons."
    Unknown

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